This Is Not Your Song.
Prose
Wednesday, August 30, 2006

"Book reports will be due after your holidays.13th sept."
wth
"Swimming carnival will be held on a certain wednesday. 13 sept"
by then I was banging my head on the table.

it's DELIBRATE yeah? And I wanted to celebrate my birthday in school.
"It will last the whole day"
@!#$&*@!$&


Watched chronicles of narnia today. Or at least part of it. Wanted to watch the battle scene again but Mr Lee said it was too violent =.="

5km thing tomorrow. Seriously doubt that I can pull through. I will probaly faint halfway. Havent been eating much. =

11:56 PM;

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO MISSION TRIP LER. Will only find out like, by erm friday? Hmm...

Habits of mind today was hilarious. Xinping and I dressed Zhenlin up like Cinderella. He was very reluctant. But, too bad. He's the only guy in our group. PINKOVERLOAD =)

During dinner, my mother forced me with more and more food. She thinks I've lost too much weight. Erm, Rayner lost 7kg as well. And the rate was the same as mine. June to now, 7kg. Blah. And she is even thinking of bringing me to the doctor.

I showed my parents what I did for paper cut.
















And they started saying(sacasticaly) how I should actually not study and go be an artist. A lizard dropped on the sofa where my mother was sitting. I wanted to bring it to school to put it on Jeremy's chair. My mother ordered my maid to throw it away.
" I dont wanna meet your principal."
"Not like there's my DNA on the lizard right?"


Recently, Cherie dear has inspired me to want to learn how to play the drums. I dint know that drummer boy can influence us so much.

10:34 PM;

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Finally, after a 3 day long hiatus( I was forced to, my darling just went bonkers), this carbo chomping freak has returned to the blogosphere. Can I hear the applause?
Went to school to film Xiao Zhen wedding video. And the girls were supposed to act as if we were crazy over her husband. Hehs.
I just finished devouring my dinner at church. The chicken was just like chewing gum. Cherie accepted Christ today =]
And something else happened today.
Me: That idiot just spilt paint over my shirt. We were having paint fight you see
somebody: Did you do it like, somewhere quiet?
cherie, liying and i: ohhh, jealous ah


its kinda obvious who it was, and obvious that she likes HIM

=)

10:52 PM;

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Backstabbing always happens.

It makes people feel insecure, but why do they start it in the first place?

Makes me wonder if theres some secret meeting in somebody's house where my friends are currently making voodoo dolls of me.



Went back home straight after school ended, which felt totally weird. Guess staying back in school has become a habit of mine.
World feels so broken up. People just seem so fake.
So this world is currently split up into two. Changyen and Chanel. And they are ignoring each other. Cold war II. If you can only know the awkwardness I feel. And I no longer feel the same towards some people after this incident. The insercurity.

Damn geography. I can never ever seem to get it.

I can forget about even asking my parent whether I can go to mission trip. Judging from my results, I can already hear the bigfat 'no'. Now if only I were Ruth. They would say 'Sure thing' straight away.


Love Cherie to bits. The only one who has been always there(excluding the time he dumped me for he-who-must-not-be-named).
My techno buddy. Lets turn up the volume and get lost in the world of escasty.

4:35 PM;

Friday, August 18, 2006

This post is for that person out there.
You know who you are.

Please, I beg you. Stop drinking. You are really freaking me out. Its not like you to be so 'high'. You are always the calm and composed one, and me beinging high. Not because of alcohol thought. It was ALWAYS you who comforted me and encouraged me and took care of me when I was down. Now its me taking care of you. And I still have to force you to sleep and take panadol. You are still under 18 ok. This year is a very important year for you. Everything you do now will affect your future.

Please, stop it. You are hurting the people around you. You helped me get over my darkest period. Now you are no longer the same.




Finally, after so many years, there was gb today. My drill got rusty. Felt wierd doing drills without my boots. My drills were rusty.

So tired today. Almost fell asleep on the bus. Sigh =|

11:29 PM;

Thursday, August 17, 2006



CUTENESS!



Just realised that I am very,very blessed.

After swimming, Cherie and I and a few others went to westmall to look for Weekiat to ask the pro about our dnt project. He was meeting his core at the foodcourt. After he vaguely explained what design specifications were, Zhenlin, Ting, Esther, Liying and me went to the library to 'do our dnt project'.

We ended up talking about everything under the sun and read kiddy books like 'Maisy and the fire engine'.

FACT: Contary to popular belief, the fire engine does not produce the sound 'orh-ee-orh-ee'. Rather, it produces the sound 'nee-nah-nee-nah'.

Ting was being hyper(when is he not?) and erm, being what he was like during scrabble competition.


=]

I feel so blessed to have such good friends. Hope Xinping and Zhenyi's gastic pains go away =)


Gonna do my art later =)

7:38 PM;

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

tagged by weekiat

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:

1)chocolate chip cookies
2)sleeps in class,much to teachers' disgust
3)loves ELMO. thinks he's good looking
4)TECHNO
5)never be perfect
6)loves my siblings eg:cherie,changyen,liying,charlene,zhenlin,weiting, david=]
7)currently addicted to '4ever' and 'no promises'

SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARES ME:
(think i did this already, but i did 5 the previous time)

1)Parents/grown ups trying to fit in to our generation( refer to 'I not stupid 2' as well as Sunday's edition of 'The New Paper). They type kids as kidz and I tell you that is so not cool. Try to speak our lingo and make us roll our eyes in the process
2)Big bugs, worms of all sizes
3)A certain teacher. I can really,really lose my appetite while looking at him. Good thing I have his lessons everyday. 1 way to save up for mission trip =)
4)Chinese passages. Chinese storybooks. Grr. Face it. I KATANG OK?
5)People crying for unknown reasons.Especially guys. I totally freaked out. That time when Munkidd cried, I cried as well. Partly because of what happened between my parents that day and also because I was thoroghly freaked out.
6)People flaring up
7)'The day'

SEVEN THINGS I LIKE:

1) God
2) My cell,other cells as well =)
3)Siblings
4) Music
5) Fellowship
6) Peppermint
7) Smiles

SEVEN BAD HABITS:
1)Attitude towards teachers
2)Sleeping late
3) Doing homework due that day on the very morning
4) Doodling in class
5) Overusing computer
6) -
7) -

SEVEN VICTIMS:
1) changyen
2)liying
3)glenys
4) david
5) joyce
6)peiru
7) YOU

11:21 PM;


FAT


Took height and weight today. I'm fat,fat and fat.

Kinda disappointed with my results. Chances of going to mission trip are getting slimmer. =(

Why are most teachers so biased? My mei does nothing wrong yet Mr Lee still has to scold him. Always picks on him.
Mdm Rohaila is no better. She picked on me like, three times today. I dint even talk. It was Lugman who was talking. I was lying on my maths textbook and facing the whiteboard. Heck, Luqman was talking to Jiejian la. Not me. Why did she have to scold me? Just because my results are not fanastic?

Ms Yee caught me sleeping today. But she was totally nice. She told Luqman to wake me up with a smile on her face. Gosh. I think I am starting to seem like some poor child who has to work at night in madonalds to get extra income.

Wanna try sleeping early tonight. So I wont fall asleep in lessons. I should get my butt off the computer. My grades are suffering in silence. Nobody can hear their screams. They are lost inside. They wish somebody would know how they feel deep inside. The pain,the agony. They are the lost souls.
Definately over rated =)

8:38 PM;

Monday, August 14, 2006

I really really hate that chinese teacher of mine. She's so blur and she still blames me for all her mistakes. Grr.

Msn is screwing up, and I feel like bashing it into peaces. I cant send music files.

Changyen cried when she saw him with her. Liying, Esther and the whole bunch of us were screaming names at him with his newfound girl. Then Changyen buried her hands in her face. And I noticed that she was crying.
I'm allergic to people who cry. When they cry, I start tearing as well.
Well I started by telling her about how it was not worth it to cry over men, especailly over such a jerk like that. Then she kept quiet. I offered to bring her to the toilet. After all she was crying in front of half the class. Silence again. More tears cascaded down. Then I starded at her. And I noticed I was crying as well. Stupid me. I'm allergic. Grr.

School seems useless. I am so not looking forward to tomorrow. Especially with chinese for first lesson.

We might be getting back our maths tomorrow.Sigh.
And I thought I would be free after CA.



Seven years and fifty days
The time is passing by
Nothing in this world could be
As nice as you and I

And how could we break up like this
And how could we be wrong
So many years, so many days
And I still sing my song

8:46 PM;

Sunday, August 13, 2006

5 things that scare me most
Now that was random. Will study really,really hard for chinee later on. PSSH. Nevermind. Have to buck up sooner or later.

On friday, my left ankle hurt. Then I told people to pray for it. Its now better. Then on saturday, Yingying stepped on my right toe during the caterpillar game at cell group. Then I noticed itwas bleeding like 25 minutes later. The blood was orange. 0.o I told you that the game was violent. Yingying, if you are reading it, its ok. Nothing much. I dint need to have my toe amputated.

Oh yes.








I feel so honoured being in GB. I can see Peiru. =)



Have to continue mugging. Laters. =)
I'll tell you how I survived sunday tomorrow. Stay tuned on tuesday to find out how I survived monday. And wendnesday to find out about tuesday.



ERTX

12:22 PM;

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Why am I only hyper AFTER church? Like during dinner time?

Today. Propelled up to 'extra-hyper' mode while I sent Cherie home. And we started talking about Changyen's love life. Then I started singing jay chou's 'xin qing'. Liying and I modified it a little and cy still dint know what we were refering to.

I think my parent would allow me to go on the mission field if I get A2 for chinese. Afterall. I could get A for psle. Its possible. =)


I would like to thank my David kor for being there when I needed help. =)

Short post today. Apparently I'm not in a 'blogging' mode today.

Labels:


11:25 PM;

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Finally updated the links =)

My dear little cousin,I've found out your DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. I suspected it a loonnng time ago, but it was confirmed today. Muahahaha. I can use this to threaten you in future. You better help me level up or I'll spill the news to my parents and your parents. HAHAHA. And if you dare call me noob again, MUAHAHAAHA.


Ahem


Happy national day! Failed to see GB marching in today.

Short post today. I have to control a pesty physics teacher who is asking me many questions, too many. Obviously to piss me off

11:25 PM;


got tagged by delia
rules:write sentences starting wif de words in bold...

i am typing with one hand,the other is holding an apple

i said what?what did i say?

i wan happiness

i wish some certain teacher could have cancer and spend the rest of his life in hospital

i miss 6d

i hear my chemical romance-to the end

i wonder why some people seem to have everything

i regret not studying for PSLE

i am who i am

i dance when i'm hyper

i sing whenever my soul longs to be free

i am an apple chomping monster

i cry at least once a week(!!)

i'm a WEEKIAT bullying machine

i write my life

i'm psycho

i need an ipod nano

i should continue mathing

i tag ruth,cherie, ermm WEEKIAT,peiru =D

2:13 PM;

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Read evan's blog. She was talking about wrist slitting.

An excerpt
i've got a friend who loves to cut as well. she told me that her parents doesnt know. abit curious, how can your parent dont know when sitting beside them, they can already easily identify them. maybe the scars isnt that obvious, going through the process of "fadding off". i know this topic about wrist cutting has brought up alot of attention to magazines and newspapers. but the problem is why are these people doing it? there must be a certain reason to it. the word "for fun" isnt really for fun. but there's a hidden reason behind it and that they just dont wanna speak up

Look. Her entry has truth in it. But you wont understand how they really feel and why they wanna cut unless you experienced it.
It is true that parents dont realise. Heck. My parent dint even noticed it. And its been 2 weeks. Goodness. They dint even notice that I was crying in the car just now. You see. Parents treat children as novelty items. Its fun when you first see them, but as time passes, you realise that they arent as cute as you thought they were.

But I'm lucky to have friends who care for me. The encouraged me, confiscated my penknife(cheriiiiee,chanel) and made me promise I wont do it again. So whenever I think about cutting myself again, I will think about my dear Cherie.


Oh yes. Today was horrid.I just had a bad day. It was one of those days that when you wake up, you'll know its bad. Changyen was supposed to help me with my maths worksheet. But she went for her prefect meeting. Then assembly was horrid. There were bits of clappers flying around in the air. And 3 people from UG fainted when the Principal converted her already long speech to malay. One was from GB. Poor girl. Its horrid to stand there in attention, you blood cant circulate you know? Then the fair thing was horrid. I kept dragging my seniors to my class. Only munkidd and yingying were nice enough to buy something. Yeah I saw Thitipat walking with a GG girl. Erm then I kinda argued with Mr Lee in front of the whole class. Cherie and my tables were wet, Cherie's chair was wet, so she couldnt sit. She sat at Xinping's desk who sat at Clara's desk. Then he scolded us and gave us 5 minutes to clean up. In a fit of anger. I got up, threw my bag on the chair and pushed my table till it fell. And I realised Lee was looking at me.

Then when I went back to Raffles, the stupid security guard dint let us in. And Sandra managed to get in before me. So we went to gelato shop, and on to Delia's house, and to Nicole's house where we played basketball. Glen and I wont.10-7. Glen is a pro. =) And I managed to contract fever within the hour of playing in the sun.

Then I had to go view the fireworks with my parents. The first thing my mother did was to critize what I was wearing. What's wrong with all black? I was in a bad mood. I wanted to scream at her that I was in a bad mood and she's making it worse. But I kept my mouth shut.
On the way to God-knows-where, I realised that theriver smelt like sea water. And it seemed very inviting.Argh thoughts from the devil. It wanted me to jump in. Oh well.
Must abolish those kinds of thoughts.





If you were here I'd never have a fear.
So go on live your life.
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.
You're so far away.
So c'mon show me how.
'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.







11:20 PM;

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Woke up at 1pm today. Still wanted to sleep at 3. Bleahs


Saw a toad in my house drainage. Poked the ugly thing with a stick. It dint move and I wanted to pour salt on it. Then I remembered that we are responsible for everything around us, so I left it alone.

Oh yes. Ruth, in case you dint know what happened yesterday, here is what happened.

Somebody went to get something. And the guys poured water on his fried fish. I told Zhenlin to pour iced lemon tea and he did.
When he came back, Yen and I started laughing like nobody's business.
CY:Fish can run ah?
me:no. can walk
CY: can run ah
me:can fly
CY: fish can fly what.flying fish
me: fish has to swim in water
CY: ya
me: but can swim in iced lemon tea?
CY: *to guy* is it nice?
him:nice.



RETARD

Oh yes people, I wont do it again so please dont get so worried. And yen, stop saying you are more depresse than me.


You just fell out of love. And I helped you kick him. Arent you happy?

4:31 PM;

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Scrabble sucks.

But my wrist hurts, and I almost died from excessive laughter.

But overall,it was fine, la.

1 round=1 hour
5 rounds= 5 hours

1st round-yishun sec: the bloody wee KIT. give me attitude. HELLOOOOO. not my fault that it's my first time playing competitive scrabble what. And when I play scrabble, I dont count POINTS.Quote,"Why dont you go back to your school and ask your teacher for a list of 2 lettered words?" I bet he sleeps on that list every night. I had a set of 4 words. Wanted to throw them out.

2nd round-st pat: the guy I played against with was nice enough to help me tabulate my points.he's very friendly.
him"seriously,are you bored?"
me"just tired"
him"how can you be so stressed?you are doing pretty well.*says to friend* actually she's not bad"
me"ya i'm not bad. i'm HORRENDOUS at it.

3rd round-morntford? sec: no comments.

4th round-marselling sec: the girl i played against with was so act. she tried to act cool. and she cant do maths. and she gives me attitude. and she said,"this girl doesnt know how to play scrabble" to her friend. wth. it was in malay but i kinda understood it. And she was the one with the worst attitude among the 5 in her team. Changyen had a chinese. Ruth had a bubbly malay.Zhenlin had an easy going peep. Weiting had one who could tolertate his nonsence. He put 'horny' on the board.

5th-mornford: One guy who was too easy going. Dint complete the game. He gave up halfway.


round 1 and 4 cheated me when I was defenseless.

Now whenever I close my eyes, I can only see one thing

SCRABBLE TILES
TILTED TO THE LEFT



Then, I wanna ask. Who was the idiot who said that once we lost, we could go? We thought that we could goshopping at 10. Then attend cell at 2. But nooo. We had to fight a losing battle.

So was waited for the bus at4.45. It came like 10 minutes later. Then we were late for church. 45 minutes. COOL.

Labels:


10:47 PM;

Friday, August 04, 2006

Sorry Cherie. Broke my promise. Now I really,really promise I wont hurt myself again ok? I hope it wont leave any scars.

Was feeling very down during lit period. Dont know why. Thats when all of it started. Actually it really on the day when I couldnt make it to radical conference. But I really promise it will end. Its so nice to know that your sisters are always there :)

I felt better after school with the help of fellowship.

I hope nobody will notice it.


Stayed back to see people do footdrill. Its funny to compare NCC's contigent with SJAB's meagre contigent of 5. You can see the difference.


There's scrable competition tomorrow. Just when I thought I could sleep in.

BLEAAHS

6:13 PM;

Thursday, August 03, 2006

APOLOGISE FOR NOT UPDATING.

My life has been sucky.
Theres a changyen on the phone who says'heartache' every 4 seconds.
i slept about 40mins today. In class.
I've been sleeping around 12-1am ever since the start of the lunar seventh month.
I've been giving Mr lee more attitude and he is starting to hate him now.
I hate him more for even being biased towards my sisters Zhenlin and tingting.
I think i'm like rebeling
thought of taking up smoking and to slit my wrist again.

Sigh.

My life is in such a mess. My results are in a mess. I suck in every single subject I take.
No kidding.


Man. I hate life when its so tough on me like that

9:00 PM;

' Amour
I've got this special ability to glow.
Do you?

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book
But the pages are all torn and frayed


Sheryl
SHARE-el
I my music (:
Not your typical girly- girl
Self confessed pyromaniac
Pretty weird

13 Sept


Escape The Fate
My Chemical Romance
Paramore

You are my hiding place
You always fill my heart,
With songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid.

' Rêveries
    follow me on Twitter

    ' Parole
    You're listening to:
    And please don't tell me that I'm dreaming
    When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you


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